Gordon Robinson | The essence of thinking

In Apocrypha, our favourite Fantasyland beyond the stars, the chatter was all about back-to-school.

Difficulties proliferated. Urgently needed repairs for schools significantly damaged a year ago by natural disaster remained incomplete. At some schools class had to be held outdoors. Teachers’ and principals’ offices remained unavailable.

Chaos was the new norm. Governing party, Just Lazy People (JLP), was blamed for delays and dislocations. Opposition Promises Not Performance (PNP) had a field day.

So Education Minister, Shaynah Mixup, consulted Oma D’unn for advice on stopping the noise. Oma told her to buy a motorbike. Shaynah looked confused so Oma told her the story of a motorbike owner.

At a bar with biking buddies, John asked for advice: “Recently my girlfriend has been taking too many calls late at night. She has also been coming home very late saying she was at team building meetings at work. I called her boss. He said they’ve not had any such meeting for weeks. So yesterday, when she said she was going for a team building meeting, I followed her on my motorbike. A guy stopped his car, hugged her and opened his door for her. I was watching from a safe distance. When they drove off I tried to follow but my bike wouldn’t start. What could the problem be guys? The clutch? Engine? Petrol? Plug? I’m so worried about my bike.”

Shaynah looked confused so Oma explained that, although he liked the way she was thinking, sometimes, we spend so much time thinking about what seems an immediate problem, we often overlook a more fundamental issue.

Jamaica’s very capable Education Minister has been doing the rounds talking repeatedly about plans for repairs to schools devastated by Melissa which aren’t close to completion one year later. She didn’t say much about school repairs January to August but:

September morn:

We danced until the night

became a brand new day.

Two lovers playing scenes

from some romantic play

September morning

still can make me feel that way.

On September 2, she popped up at Ferris Primary (Westmoreland) on what JIS described as “her back-to-school readiness visit”. You gotta help me translate that to English. She promised Government would maintain “close oversight of the rebuilding.”

“I’ll continue to show up unannounced. That’s not going to stop” she assured listeners. Well, whoop-di doo! Is she bringing shovel, pick-axe or cement mixer with her?

How will this “close monitoring” work? How will it result in completion before the Rapture? JIS: “She explained that independent personnel, along with members of the Ministry’s leadership team, will also be visiting schools and submitting reports, which will be compared with contractors’ updates to identify discrepancies and determine where intervention is needed.”

So, plenty paper will be pushed around. Who is the “independent personnel”? What sort of “intervention” are we talking about? Will contractors be fired and more competent ones hired? Please, pretty please, stop filling empty space with empty, meaningless words.

By September 9, Gleaner was reporting;

“There has been rising public outrage over conditions in parishes such as St Elizabeth and Westmoreland, where severe storm damage remains unaddressed including at several schools, nearly a year after….Melissa.”

PM addressed this by telling stories about how excited he was as a student to have classes under trees; that classrooms were too hot anyway; and it was a good thing children were learning “closer to nature”.

This must be the Guy Lombardo Show!

The following day we finally got some specifics but, naturally, not from any politician. Education Ministry Permanent Secretary, Kasan Troupe, reported:

• Renovations at 57 of the more than 300 schools extensively damaged by Hurricane Melissa have been completed.

• A further 95 “should be completed” by October 31;

• 34 more are expected to be repaired by December.

We were told to be patient. So, I guess, if we’re lucky, 115 schools will be gutting it out well into 2027.

Meanwhile, what’s Government doing about the fundamental problem? We are so focused on infrastructure, which is important, that we’re doing nothing about what’s taught inside the infrastructure.

In his latest of many notes to me, my friend, the satirist Tony Gambrill, of 8 O’clock Jamaica Time fame, wrote: “we’re plagued by a lack of leadership in the public and private sectors, an abundance of bureaucracy and an inability to acknowledge that our educational system is hopelessly inadequate to meet the present day let alone the future. Does anyone realise this? “

Of course not, TG! Like Neil Diamond, they’re waiting until next September morn to dance around back-to-school’s obvious problems again. Some schools may still be holding classes under trees. If not, there are always good ol’ regulars like booklists, uniform cost, and my personal favourite, grooming rules to fulminate about.

Curriculum reform? Teacher training reform? Teacher qualifications upgrade? Teachers’ salaries treated like MPs’ salaries? Nah. That would require developing political will and spending political capital. But I like the way you’re thinking.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com