Gordon Robinson | The essence of bronze

Political temperatures overheated in Apocrypha, our favourite fantasyland beyond the stars.

An alleged tax evasion scheme, with Apocrypha’s main public hospital’s help, resulted in fingers being pointed at an Opposition MP. The Opposition, Promises Not Performance (PNP), ran a vigorous election campaign against the incumbent Just Lazy People (JLP) based on alleged corruption in Government. PNP Leader, Bark Balding, frequently promised to lead a Government of integrity.

So, he came under fire from JLP supporters who demanded he deal harshly with the MP. Calls for the MP’s resignation abounded. As they became more persistent Bark consulted Oma D’unn for advice how to make them stop.

Regular readers (both of them) remember Oma, a retired politician who converted his hobby of solving political dilemmas by parable into a flourishing Consultancy Firm Oma Unsacked.

Oma told Bark to buy a curio shop. Bark looked blank so Oma told him the story of a Texan in San Francisco.

A Texan walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco and noticed a lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It was so striking he decided to buy it. He asked the shop owner “How much for the bronze rat?”

“You’ve chosen wisely” said the old Chinaman. “It’s $12 for the rat; $100 for the story.” The Texan quickly paid $12. “I’ll take the rat. You keep the story.”

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the Texan noticed a few real rats had crawled out of sewers and begun following him. Despite walking faster, more rats joined and even began squealing.

The Texan ran towards San Francisco Bay by which time millions of rats were following squealing and closing in on him. Terrified, he threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.

Amazingly, the rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and drowned. The man returned to the curio shop.

“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”

“No Sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.”

Bark remained confused so Oma, proud of his Hitchcock-like ending, told Bark past campaigns against real or imagined corruption hoisted him on his own petard. Now, to avoid public slurs, he must find a way to dispose of JLP critics or, since nowhere in Jamaica sold Bronze Labourites, try acting as he demanded of his opponents.

Back home on JamRock, in April 2021, JLP MP George Wright was allegedly seen in a viral video beating a woman with a stool. In a video statement ( April 15, 2021) Mark Golding said:

“…the Jamaican people will not accept Wright as a representative in Parliament. It’s not only an offence against the [Nation’s] conscience but it reinforces this type of contemptible behaviour. We won’t accept it!”

Regarding PM’s ongoing Integrity Commission stand-off over its failure to certify his Statutory Declarations despite not publishing any corruption finding, at a constituency conference, Golding said ( August 11, 2024):

“Our prime minister isn’t in good standing with the Integrity Commission. His statutory declaration for…years hasn’t been certified... That should be a disqualifying factor. He shouldn’t be eligible to run again as prime minister until he sorts that out.”

Mark Golding during 2025’s election debates:

“We really need to step up our vigilance against corrupt behaviour, nepotism and cronyism…,”

Then, directly to Andrew Holness:

“Your personal situation where you’re operating under a deep cloud because your Integrity Commission Declarations aren’t certified also is something Jamaica cannot go forward with.”

As it turned out, Jamaica not only could but did go forward emphatically notwithstanding that phantom cloud. So, now a deep, dark cloud hangs over one of his MP’s head, it’s time Mark puts his leadership where his mouth once permanently resided. The MP is accused of involvement, through a company, in or benefiting from a corrupt conspiracy with (or within) UHWI to evade taxes. If true, that’d be “contemptible behaviour”; not to mention “corrupt behaviour” and “cronyism.”

Gleaner April 2: “PAC Chairman, Julian Robinson, says JACDEN Limited, a company owned by PNP MP, Dennis Gordon, has repaid funds it saved when UHWI misused its tax exemption to import goods on its behalf [my emphasis]

“A report was done by customs [and] it identified the duties… Mr. Gordon has paid those duties,’ he said.”

If THAT hearsay statement is true, Jacden tacitly admits tax evasion. Apart from Julian’s inconsistencies (did Jacden or Dennis Gordon pay? He told Dionne payment was made to UHWI but UHWI isn’t a tax collector), if taxes were merely “saved” by UHWI’s independent “misuse” neither Jacden nor Gordon should “repay” anything. Customs said it invoiced UHWI. Why didn’t Jacden import the goods transparently and pay taxes up front?

Sump’n inna sump’n!

Restitution, especially after being publicly pressured, doesn’t erase misdeed. It is cold comfort to constituents whose MP ought to be, like Caesar’s wife, above suspicion.

Over to you Mark. Time to put up or shut up!

Peace and Love.

P.S: Since submitting this on April 3, Mark Golding’s April 5 announcement that he removed Gordon from PAC/Shadow Cabinet isn’t enough. That’s not what Mark demanded for George Wright/Andrew Holness. In his opinion will “the Jamaica people accept [Gordon] as a representative in Parliament”?

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com