Help yourself to help others

We all have heard the phrase “God helps those who help themselves”. This, essentially, means that even God cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. When we see someone in pain, our natural instinct is to find a way to help them as we can’t see them in suffering.

At times we feel helpless because of our limitations and inability to help our loved ones. When faced with this discomfort of this inner intensity, we often jump inside the circle of sorrow to stand next to our loved one. Although we experience a momentary relief from feeling helpless, most times we are not very useful to them. The energy of our own sorrow, pity, and worry steals our strength, weakens our words of encouragement, and makes our presence a bit wobbly. Have you seen people who faint when they see people bleeding or deep wounds of others? Think of a surgeon who faints after seeing the patient’s wound. In that scene, the one who is there to help is himself helpless..

In French, the word for heart is c oeur. It is the root of the word “courage”. To encourage someone is to give them your heart. The only way you can encourage another person is if your heart is strong. The only way to help others is to help yourself first, for which, you detach from your inner struggle and their sorrow so that you can reclaim the wholeness of your heart and bring its strength to your loved ones. Then your words of encouragement, solace, and also your presence are more powerful and helpful to them.

GIVE SPACE

Spirituality teaches you to stand next to your loved ones without becoming part of their sorrow. You learn to give space to the person to deal with their sorrows. Your focus should be on keeping calm and strong, being compassionate and kind. This allows God’s energy to flow through you to the other person.

As you strengthen spiritually by absorbing God’s love and power in silence, your presence brings soothing comfort and strength to others who are suffering. Practising meditation makes it possible, over time, to become spiritually strong enough to stand next to someone without absorbing their pain at all. As your pain heals, you have more energy to offer healing energy to others in the form of encouragement and strength, which ultimately helps them to deal with their pain. They find resources inside themselves to do what is needed to move forward. So before taking a step to help someone, strengthen yourself first and become a channel of God’s powers to them.

Courtesy: Rajyoga Meditation Center, Kingston (meditation courses and counselling are offered free of charge). Email: kingston@jm.brahmakumaris.org. Or follow them on Instagram: rajyoga_meditation_jamaica