Tony Deyal | Time for women to get their write

Most of us did not know that differences between male and female writers, columnists, and, most importantly, comedians, are more in the social perceptions of their humour, rather than their ability to be funny. 

In my days, from school to university, from reading to writing as a columnist, while I knew friends, both females and men, who were writers, I appreciated skill and humour rather than focusing on the gender of the writer. What did change over time was my awareness of how different genders used humour, especially with women often dealing with the nuances of personal experiences and societal expectations. 

Men would use humour to flirt and have fun with women, with books like How to Make a Woman Laugh (The Key to Flirting with Women) and Where to Meet Girls with a Good Sense of Humour. 

They also use ‘videos’ to explore the funny side of modern flirting and dating dilemmas. There is also, How Women Flirt in 2026: A Hilarious Sketch Comedy. If you want the ladies on your side, you can even get a video to explain how to use humour as a form of social courage to interact with women.

I also became aware that sometimes women and young girls got upset when the humour was at their expense. Barbados Prime Minister Mia Mottley actively encourages the empowerment of female journalists, columnists and writers. She frequently uses high-profile global platforms —such as the UN — to urge accomplished women across all sectors to share their stories, combat inequality, and mentor the next generation of youngsters. However, I was totally unaware that it was terrible when women were ignored. 

What I found out about my 33 years as a weekly columnist, I chose what I liked and wanted regardless. Then, a few weeks ago, I was accosted by a young woman I knew who said very bluntly to me as the ‘writer’, ‘Mr Man, you especially! You write your columns every week and they’re only about MEN! No girls and women. If I didn’t know that your wife and you are close, I would have assumed the worst about you! But now I have the opportunity to ask you to your face, “What is wrong with you and the other men in Trinidad and the rest of the Caribbean? What is your problem?”

My humble and sincere apologies, ladies. This is for all of you, especially those who are not aware of witty, wise and stand-up female comedians. One of the best comedians is Taylor Tomlinson, who is known for her sharp and self-depreciating stand-up, particularly her commentary on mental health, dating, and religious trauma. Her best jokes capture her signature ‘dry wit’ and masterful use of metaphor. For example, she said, ‘That’s the thing that’s so messed up about dating, is that you start hearing all these stories about how nuts their ex-girlfriend or -boyfriend or whoever was, and the longer that you date the more reliable those stories become – the more you realise it’s just their account, and it’s not necessary what actually transpired.’ She also felt, ‘Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.’ Perhaps Ms Taylor knew from her past about what to expect, ‘The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.’ 

Then there is Jordan Jensen, who is celebrated for her unhinged, self-deprecating, and highly relatable stand-up style. Her humour blends sharp crowd work with stories of her wild upbringing in upstate New York. There is also Atsuko Okatsuka, known for her deadpan delivery and observation humour. Next is Chloe Fineman, a standout performer on Saturday Night Live, known for her spot-on celebrity impressions and character work. In addition, there is Fern Brady, a Scottish comedian praised for her blunt, honest and often dark comedic perspective. In going through the list of comedians, it is clear that there are many ladies who are great humourists, stand-up comedians, and even high-energy, raunchy observational humour. The tips for success as female humourists include, ‘Be Natural: Do not act, or fake a persona …’; ‘Read the Room.’; ‘Avoid constant jokes during serious moments …’; ‘Confidence is Key’; and ‘Understand Different Types of Humour’. 

Increasingly, there are more up-and-coming young female comedians with a fresh and funny observational humour. Here are a few.  First, Sara Millican, on pets, “I was at a pet shop, and they’d written a song for a big rabbit in a hutch in the first person.” And she said, “Hi, I’m Honey. I’m a little bit bigger than the other rabbits. I’m a little bit older than the other rabbits. Please take me home.” I thought that I would never expect to come face-to-face with the rabbit equivalent of your teenage self. Then there is Leanne Morgan on parenting milestones, “I aim for perfection with my first child. I had charts in the kitchen, and I meticulously introduced new foods – making sure sweet potatoes were cleared before squash. With the third baby? He gummed down a cheeseburger at McDonald’s without a single tooth.”  Next is Fortune Feimster on dating and relationships, “People make a lot of jokes about women’s bodies. But you men get to walk around with wrinkly, dangly bags of crap. At the very least, put googly eyes on them. I don’t know if that’d be better or worse, but it’d be fun.” However, to end with aging and getting better or worse, let us end with Taylor Tomlinson, “Your 20s are for making mistakes and being a hot mess. Your 30s are for cleaning up those mistakes and realizing you were never a hot mess; you were just mentally ill.”

So now, it is important that we see the entire picture of ‘funny’ women with quippy quotes, we will go to some famous women who started it all. First was Sandra Bullock, “Whoever established the high road, and how high it should be, should be fired.” The prime minister of Israel, Golda Meir, came up with, “Don’t be so humble – you’re not that great.” She was followed by Judith Martin, American columnist and author, “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” Actress and writer Carrie Fisher observed playfully that, ‘Instant gratification takes too long’ and Ellen DeGeneres, American comedian, joked, “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” And to end with two of the greats, first is Joan Rivers, ‘People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured, if you have enough money, you can have a key made.’ And, from Dolly Parton, actress, singer/songwriter and businesswoman, “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.”

Tony Deyal then added another Joan Rivers joke, “I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not’ — they sent it back and said, ‘We don’t believe it.” Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com