Healing that bruised ego

Daviot Kelly, Staff Reporter

Remember when you wanted to show that you could ride your bicycle on your own, only to fall and cut your knee?

Well the physical pain aside, your ego, even at that age, probably took an even worse beating, especially if you were trying to put on a show for the cute girl next door. Your ego can be bruised in many ways. It can be because you've lost at a sporting event, a bet of some kind or you've been turned down, whether in a personal or professional scenario.

People react differently to similar experiences so what you can brush off your shoulder, someone else will 'take to heart', 'Getting over it', as quickly as possible, is highly recommended.

"A bruised ego can affect an individual mentally. The person may feel traumatised or stressed," said Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, consultant psychiatrist. "They may become angry and commit an offence against the law," she said, citing extreme responses.

DIFFERENT SCENARIOS

Let's take when you lose your job. When your pride is hurt, your motivation, energy and attitude can greatly suffer, and all of these things need to be in tip-top shape to achieve success in the job market. If you're not enthused to even look for work, you can't possibly do so. If you are told your services are no longer needed, try to:

realise that this might be a new experience for you and give yourself time to get used to it.

ask for help. Whether you consult with a career counsellor, a friend or an in-transition group, get other opinions, especially on how you specifically should position yourself in the job market.

If your ego has been bruised because of being rejected by a possible love interest (or better yet, by repeated love interests), then perhaps you should:

look at your approach: you may be doing something wrong;

consider that you may be trying the wrong thing or going for the wrong type of person.

just keep asking: just like a gymnast who falls during a routine, just get right back up there and remember 'every hoe have dem stick a bush'.

Whatever the scenario, Dr Bailey-Davidson recommends professional help if the damaged ego is affecting the individual that badly.

"Healing from these traumatic experiences can take time and may require counselling if the individual becomes depressed or anxious," she said. Even for "simple experiences", she suggests the individual resolve things by talking to a friend about the incident.