DOCTOR'S ADVICE: I am too embarrassed

I am too embarrassed

Q Doctor, I have a problem that has been affecting me for several years and have now run out of options. I have halitosis.

I also have bleeding gums, and often wake up in the night with my mouth full of blood

The bad breath problem has caused me to become introverted, and reluctant to interact with people.

No matter what I do, it won't go away! Are there any home remedies I could use to cure it?

I am too embarrassed to go to the dentist.

A Please forgive me for being so blunt, but to say that you are 'too embarrassed to go to the dentist' is rather crazy. What do you think dentists are there for?

Their job is to treat and prevent both gum and tooth disorders. And it is obvious that like a lot of people who have bad breath, you also have a very bad gum disease. You should not have bleeding inside your mouth like that. My guess is that you have gingivitis, which is a severe inflammation of the gums. And it is a condition that needs to be treated by a dentist.

I am very doubtful that there are any home remedies that will help you. However, as a temporary measure, you could get a proprietary antiseptic mouthwash sold at every pharmacy.

Using one of these antiseptics as a gargle three times a day should improve things a little. But I repeat, like most people with bad breath, you really need to have a dentist check your teeth and gums.

Don't be embarrassed; just make that appointment.

Q I am a 34-year-old female and I met a very handsome and charming man last month. We slept together and I did not use any protection.

But doctor, I unwisely allowed him to penetrate my anus. After which, he rolled me over and finished off in my vagina.

I did not enjoy this experience. Now I have a very bad vaginal discharge, which is causing me great distress.

Can you advise me, please?

A Sorry to hear about this. Very often when this happens, bowel germs will be transferred to the vaginal walls and cervix.

And often the result is a bad vaginal discharge. Fortunately, it can be cured.

So please see a doctor right away. You will be examined and a few swabs taken. Also, you will be given medication to get rid of the discharge.

Q My wife and I are in our mid-30s, and so far we have not been successful in becoming pregnant even though we have been trying for 10 months.

Her doctor has suggested that I take a sperm test. But there is no point, is there? I am a very virile man, so I do not see how anything can be wrong with me. Also, I got a girl pregnant when I was 16, so I must be fertile.

A Well, that was around 20 years ago, and you may have lost your fertility since. The fact that you say you are 'very virile' does not mean that you are fertile. A lot of men simply cannot get a woman pregnant because they do not have enough sperms.

The doctor must have some good reason for suggesting that you take a sperm test, so I urge you to go ahead.

Q I am a 29-year-old woman and I am still a virgin. I have now met a great new man. I think I love him. So I have decided to give my virginity to him.

But I am worried. Since I have been a virgin for so long, will it be very difficult or painful for me when we first have sex?

A No, it should not be, provided that you are completely relaxed. Also, it is important that he is gentle, loving and romantic, and takes care to ensure that you are really ready before he attempts to penetrate you.

Additionally, I would suggest that you buy a good sex lubricant from a pharmacy, and apply it liberally to yourself just before he enters you. That should make it a lot easier.

But please make sure you tell him that you are a virgin so that he will realise that he must be gentle with you. Good luck.

Q I am a 33-year-old man and in the last few months I have found that my erections are not very hard.

Could this be due to prostate trouble, doctor?

A That is unlikely at your age. Men do not usually start having prostate problems until they are well into their 50s or 60s.

You really need to see a doctor for a check-up and have some tests done. Please take a specimen of your urine to the appointment, so that he can test you for diabetes. This is because diabetes is a common cause of erection problems among men in their 30s.

Q I am 40 years old, and recently, my periods have become very long and heavy, and also very irregular.

Can I assume that this is just due to menopause?

A No, that would not be a safe assumption. First of all, you are too young to be experiencing menopause.

Also, your symptoms could be due to various gynaecological disorders, some of which are trivial, while others are serious.

Therefore, you need to have an internal examination, and a Pap smear. Please see a gynaecologist.

Q My best friend and I have had the same girlfriend for many years. He sees her on weekends, while I date her on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

This arrangement has proceeded very amicably over a long period of time. No one is jealous of anyone, and we all like each other.

But now she has suggested something a little more complex. She has told us that she would like it if sometimes we both would join her in bed.

My friend feels that this is a very good idea but I am not so sure. What do you think doctor?

A I do not recommend threesomes. Often, they stir up all sorts of surprising passions and jealousies. For instance, one man may become resentful because he decides that the other man is more endowed or more virile .

If you do decide to go ahead, please make sure that everybody takes adequate precautions against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

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