Doctor's Advice - Her husband caught an infection

• Q. Doctor, I am absolutely devastated by the fact that I have found out that my husband has a sexually transmitted infection (STI). We have been married for 17 years, and although I was aware that he very occasionally 'played around' a little, we have a good, strong marriage. We love each other a lot. I must add that I have never ever even thought of being unfaithful to him, and I am sure he knows that.

But last Tuesday, he came home looking pretty worried, and said: "I have something I must talk to you about." We sat down and he told me that he has just been to see a doctor, and the doctor had explained to him that he has an STI. My husband says that he caught it from a toilet seat in Portland. Is that really possible?

Anyway, the doctor has given him a prescription for a particular antibiotic. And apparently, the doctor wants to see me too, because he thinks it is quite possible that I also have the infection. So what do you think, doctor? I have no symptoms. So do I really need medical treatment? If I must have the treatment, I will. Do you think my husband really picked this up from another woman, and not from a toilet seat?

A. The 'toilet seat excuse' has been used by countless men, and indeed by some women, for generations. I have often seen cases where people have 'played away' and caught an STI, and have then tried to claim that "it must have come from the seat of a public toilet".

In reality, I have never encountered a case of an STI which seemed to have genuinely been caught from a lavatory seat. And I have spoken to venereology experts in the United States, England and Australia who all say that one should not believe people who claim to have acquired an STI from a toilet.

In fairness, I must add that technically it might just be possible to pick up a germ that way. But let me say that anyone who is a little squeamish should 'skip' the next paragraph!

You see, if someone who has the disease leaves a 'blob' of pus on a toilet, that droplet of fluid might well contain germs. And if someone else cames along during the next few minutes to sit on the seat, and their genitals came into contact with it, it is just conceivable that the germs might enter that person's body. But that is very unlikely.

So the odds are that your husband has picked up this infection from a woman, especially as you say that he has 'played around' in the past. But what is really important now is that appropriate medical action must be taken! You don't say what kind of disease your husband has, but statistically it is most likely to be gonorrhoea (the clap) or chlamydia. Both of these can easily be cured by an adequate course of the right antibiotic.

You note that you do not have any symptoms but many women who have gonorrhoea or chlamydia do not have any symptoms at all. So they do not find out that they are infected until many years later when a lot of damage has been done to their internal organs.

If you have had sex with your husband since he caught the infection, then it is highly probable that you now have it. So it is absolutely essential that you see the doctor right away. He will run some tests. And if you have the infection, he will give you the right treatment. That will definitely cure you! Your husband should also contact the woman he presumably contracted the infection from and tell her that she needs treatment too.

Finally, I hope that you two will be able to repair your relationship after all this. It is great that you both love each other, and that you feel that your marriage is strong. You may have to go and see a counsellor together. But first, get those tests and treatment!

• Q. Doctor, I have a lump in my groin. A doctor has told me that it is a hernia. What is that?

A.  A hernia (also known as a 'rupture') is a weak place in the wall of the belly, where a hole forms. The contents try to bulge through this hole, which is why you get a lump. Generally, a person who has a hernia needs to take a small operation in order to repair the hole.

• Q. My mother has eaten fruits all her life. She has always maintained that this would protect her against cancer.  But sadly, she now has cancer. How come?

A. Eating a lot of fruits certainly is good for you. People who eat fruit at least five times per day tend to be healthier than those who eat less. And it seems likely that cancer rates are lower in those who have a lot of fruit. However, there is no way that eating fruit can completely protect someone against cancer. Sorry.

• Q. My daughter is 19 and (so far as I know) a virgin. She wants to start using internal sanitary protection, but surely that is impossible, isn't it?

A. No, you are not correct. It is perfectly possible for virgin women to use tampons. This is because the hymen, or virgin's veil, nearly always has a gap in it. The tampon can usually pass through that gap. Admittedly, the tampons may break her hymen, but most young women do not fret about that.

• Q. Doc, I am a guy of 34, and on tablets for pressure. Yesterday, through some mix-up I went to the cupboard to get my medication, and accidentally swallowed one of my wife's contraceptive Pills instead.  Will this do me serious harm?

A, No. There have been a number of medical experiments in which male volunteers swallowed one contraceptive Pill. So I can assure you that just ONE Pill will not do you any harm at all. However, I must advise you NOT to make a habit of this mistake.

• Q I am 29, female, and have four children. Could I get sterilised, even though I am relatively young?

A. Yes, I am sure that a gyno would be willing to sterilise you. It is quite a simple operation, and I wish you well.

• Q. Is oral sex bad for the teeth, as I have heard?

A. No, that is not true. But there are concerns about whether it could transmit a virus that causes cancer.

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