DOCTOR'S ADVICE: Soapy and sexy

Q: Doctor, I need your advice about my husband. I love him very much and he says he loves me too. But he recently got a new computer, and he seems to be spending a lot of time on it, maybe five hours each day. Several times I have entered the room while he was on it. On each occasion, he was looking at websites on which women were rubbing soap on their breasts!

This seems strange to me, and I do not like it. Why does he look at that type of thing? Is he kinky?

Does that mean that he no longer loves me?

A: Unfortunately, your husband's beha-viour is typical of many men. It's a very common marital problem in the 21st century, where husbands have developed an enthusiasm for looking at pornography on the Internet.

Ten or 15 years ago, husbands would often have a discreet look at a 'naughty' magazine or book while their wives weren't around. But these days, it is much easier (and cheaper) to switch on the home computer.

As it relates to your husband, all I can tell you is that soapy mammary glands loom very large in a lot of men's minds. A lot of men like this image. There really are a lot of websites devoted to portraying this.

There are a lot of men who have an interest in seeing this so we would not necessarily describe your husband as kinky.

However, it is natural for a woman to feel shut out or neglected if her man spends several hours a day looking at pornography. Like you, many wives wonder if their husbands still love them.

I believe your husband does still love you. As is the case with many men, he simply sees his interest in these websites as a sort of hobby - much as other men might be keen on football or cricket.

However, something must be done to save your marriage from trouble. I suggest that you and your husband see a counsellor to seek help in finding some compromise in your man's Internet usage.

The next time you have a shower, why not make a point of asking your husband to look at you while you lather your body? That should get him away from the computer screen for a while.

Q: I am a 38-year-old man and was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. Since the diagnosis I have had problems with my erections.

Why is this, Doctor?

A: Well, 'pressure', by itself, is unlikely to cause erectile problems.

But certain blood pressure-lowering medication does interfere with a man's ability to get an erection. So my guess is that it is your medication which is causing this problem.

What you need to do is ask your doctor to change your medication.

Q: While on a visit to Kingston, I bought some new eye make-up. As soon as I used it, my eyes became swollen and sore. The same thing happened the next time I tried it.

Is this an allergy? Am I entitled to a refund or could I sue the makers?

A: Allergies to cosmetics are very common, and I am sure that this was an allergic reaction. You should definitely not use that particular make-up again.

I am doubtful that you would be able to get back your money because the store has no way of knowing that you would be allergic to the product.

I am afraid that your chances of successfully suing the manufacturers are also very slim. A lot depends on whether the product came with a leaflet that warns women about the possibility of allergies. You could try contacting them and telling them of your problem. It is just possible that they might make you some payments.

Q: Doctor, I am a 42-year-old man, and I would like to know if there is such a thing as erotic food?

I have heard that shellfish, like lobsters and crabs, can make a person feel sexy. Is this true?

A: Well, for hundreds of years people have believed that certain foods can be desire-provoking or aphrodisiac. Shellfish, particularly oysters, have a reputation for turning people on.

Unfortunately, medical science does not support this belief. No one has ever been able to prove scientifically that oysters, or any other food, can increase desire.

If you are having a little trouble with potency, or perhaps lack of libido, the best thing would be to consult a doctor.

Q: I am 36 years old and thinking of going on the mini-Pill. How does it work? And is it good?

A: Yes, the mini-Pill is good in that it works well, and is much less likely to cause serious side effects like the ordinary Pill.

Therefore, it is very popular with women over the age of 35 who want to stop taking the regular Pill.

The mini-Pill works by thickening the secretions in the woman's cervix.This makes it difficult for sperm to get through. But there are some recent brands that work by stopping you from ovulating (producing a monthly 'egg').

Q: Doctor, I feel that my penis has never been as long as I would like it to be. Is it true that a man can buy an extension?

A: It certainly is possible to buy penile extensions through the Internet. But I doubt whether your partner would be impressed by such a device.

Also, the extensions have an unfortunate habit of falling off inside the woman and that is not very romantic.

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