DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Not sure about oral sex

• Q. I am 32 years old and married. Recently, my husband has been demanding that I give him fellatio. But I am not so sure. He has suddenly got this notion because he has been watching porn and seen the women give oral sex, and this has made him very excited. However, I do not have any experience. In fact, neither has he.There are various things that we do not understand about it. Perhaps you could enlighten us about a few things?  First, is it possible that the woman could hurt the man with her teeth? I would not like to hurt him. How long are you supposed to do it for? In other words, do you do it for a few minutes, and then move on to something else? And finally, what is the woman supposed to do if the man has an orgasm. I find this very difficult to imagine. I do not think I would want my husband's fluid in my mouth! But maybe I am abnormal. Any advice you can give would be appreciated.

A. The word fellatio means oral sex given by a partner to a man. Until recently, any kind of oral sex, including fellatio, was relatively uncommon. Studies in the United States showed that only about 25 per cent of the population had tried oral sex.

However, in the last few years, persons in most countries have become rather laid-back about sex. As a result, oral petting has become very common. An American doctor recently told me that virtually all young American couples try fellatio, at least occasionally. Incidentally, it does have some benefits, particularly if the man is having trouble getting an erection. Fellatio is a very effective way of making the penis stiff.

As it relates to your question about the possibility of a woman injuring the man's organ with her teeth, this will not happen if she is careful. In medical practice, I have never seen a male patient who has been injured in this way.

For your second question, you can do it for as long as you both wish. Some couples do it for just a few seconds, while others will continue for maybe 10 to 15 minutes. Many of them move on to vaginal intercourse after.

And for your final question, many couples do not go as far as the man climaxing. Before the man climaxes, they usually move on to some other sexual activity.

But as you may have seen in the movies your husband watched, some men do climax. But the truth is that a lot of men want to do so in their partner's mouth. Many of them actually want the woman to swallow their fluid. Some women find the idea of doing that odd and some do not like the taste.

If that is the case with you, and you do not wish to, your husband should respect your wishes. In such cases, it is common for the man to pull out at the last second. I hope this answers your questions. These matters are of concern to many women lately.

• Q. Doctor, I am 41 years old and I am worried about the possibility of getting prostate cancer. I have heard that there is a blood test which can detect it. Should I do that test?

A. The blood test which you are talking about is called the prostate specific antigen test, or PSA test. Unfortunately, the PSA test is not very accurate. The level of PSA in a man's blood can be increased by cancer of the prostate, but also by other factors such as:

1. Infection;
   
2. Surgery;
   
3. Prolonged exercise;
   
4. A recent sexual climax.

The possibility of prostate cancer does not increase until the man is about 45. So in my view, there is little point in having a PSA test till you have passed that age. In America, a lot of doctors recommend annual PSA tests for middle-age and elderly men. But other doctors think that this type of screening just causes a lot of false alarm.

• Q. I have been having very bad menstrual pain for a few years. I heard somewhere that anti-rheumatism pills could help, so I borrowed some from my mother. They did help. But after using them for a couple of days, I experience bad pain in my stomach. What could have caused this? Could this be from the tablets?

A. Almost certainly. It is true that anti-rheumatic tablets are often very good at reducing menstrual pain. But they should only be taken under a doctor's supervision.

Unfortunately, some of those pills can cause severe pain in the upper part of the stomach, and sometimes internal bleeding. They can even provoke ulcers! One way of reducing the chances of feeling such pain is to make sure you take that type of pill after a meal. The food protects the stomach.

However, you should see a doctor. The doc can examine you to see if the anti-rheumatic pills have hurt you. Also, he/she maybe able to tell you why you have been having such severe menstrual pain in the last few years.

• Q. I had sex with a woman in St James recently. I washed carefully afterwards. I returned home to the Corporate Area next morning, and had sex with my wife. Could I possibly have given her any infection?

A. Certainly. Washing is no defence against venereal infection. So you may have acquired some virus from this woman and then given it to your wife. Therefore, I think you should get a check-up immediately. Depending on what the doctor finds, your wife may also need medical advice.

• Q. I am 35, and this month I had sex with a man the day after my period stopped. Could I be pregnant?

A Yes, you could be. However, a woman's peak fertility time is usually around 10-14 days after the start of her period. So you may be OK. You will just have to see if your next menses arrive.

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