DOCTOR'S ADVICE: A wild night in Mexico

Q Doctor, something happened recently which has made me a little doubtful about my sexual orientation.

Earlier this year, my husband and I went on a trip to Mexico, to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. It was supposed to be the holiday of a lifetime. But things did not go very well.

First of all, he became very sick with some kind of fever. We had to call a doctor, and that cost a lot. Apparently, the diagnosis was something called turista. What is that?

Anyway, my husband had to lie in bed at the hotel for a week. I tried to look after him, but each evening I went out to dinner, and, to be honest, enjoyed myself.

On the last night, I met an elegant woman who shared my table. We had a lot of wine, and we got along very well. At the end of the evening, she insisted that she must show me her apartment, which was nearby.

We had a nightcap there, and then somehow I found that she was kissing me. The next half-hour or so is a bit of a blur, but I do recall that before I knew what was happening, she made straight for my clitoris.

I am ashamed to tell you this, Doctor, but she did things to it that my husband never did. In fact, he scarcely ever bothers to touch that particular area at all.

As a result of all this stimulation, I suddenly orgasmed. That kind of brought me to me senses, so I pulled my clothes on, said goodbye, and went to find a taxi.

I did not tell my husband what happened. I did not keep this woman's phone number or address and I didn't give her mine.

What worries me is that this is the first orgasm I have had in a few years. I suppose that is because my husband does not really try to make me have one.

Do you think this episode has revealed that I am really a lesbian? And is there any medical test for lesbianism?

A Let me begin by answering your first question, about your husband's illness. The word 'turista' is just a Mexican expression meaning the type of diarrhoea, fever and vomiting that often affects tourists. It is caused from germs in food or drink.

I hope your husband is completely better now, but if he isn't, he should see a doctor and have a sample of his bowel motions tested.

As it relates to this woman, the reason you had an orgasm is because she knew how to pay attention to your clitoris. Sounds like your husband hasn't touched it for a few years, so I suppose you could say that it was ready for action.

At the moment, I don't think there is any substantial evidence that you are a lesbian. I imagine that it would have been equally easy for you to have an orgasm if it had been a handsome man who stimulated your clitoris.

There is no medical test for lesbianism. So I think you will just have to wait and see how the rest of your sexual life turns out.

But I think you should have a serious talk with your husband about your physical relationship. Unless he begins to pay more attention to your clitoris, I feel that the chances of your marriage surviving are not too great.

Q I am a 41-year-old male, and I suddenly lost my 'nature'.

Can I assume that this is simply because of my age?

A Certainly not! You are still relatively young, and your age could not possibly be causing this problem.

For someone in their early 40s, the common causes of erectile dysfunction (ED) are:

Psychological factors;

Medically prescribed drugs - especially some pills for blood pressure;

Recreational drugs;

Diabetes.

So you should see a doctor for a thorough check-up. Take a morning specimen of your urine with you for testing.

Depending on his diagnoses, I am sure he will be able to help you.

Q My boyfriend thinks he feels a slight lump in my left breast. Can I ignore it?

A No! All lumps in the breasts need urgent examination by a doctor, and especially so if the woman is over 30. Do not delay.

Q How reliable are pregnancy tests? I know that when I was younger they were sometimes wrong.

A Today pregnancy tests are very reliable, provided that you follow the instructions carefully.

Q What are the symptoms of cancer of the womb?

A The most common one is vaginal bleeding, which occurs after menopause.

Bleeding after sex can also be a symptom, though this is more often a sign of cancer of the cervix.

Q It has been 23 years since I last had sex with a man. Now 54, I have met a wonderful man and we are in love.

We are planning to start sleeping together soon but I have some concerns.

First, will having vigorous sex after such a long interval be bad for my health?

Second, will I be able to have intercourse without any difficulty?

And finally, will I be able to orgasm?

A Congratulations on your new relationship. My answers to your three questions are:

1. No, sex will not hurt you or your health in anyway.

2. Yes, you will probably be able to have intercourse without any difficulty, but it would be a good idea to get a good sex lubricant from a pharmacy, or online;

3. Yes, you should be able to orgasm, but if you have not climaxed for a while, it may take you some time to regain the ability.

Q Although I am only in my 30s, I am starting to lose my hair at the front. My girlfriend says that I should not worry because going bald is a sign of virility.

Is this true, Doc?

A There is a lot of truth in it. Men who have a lot of male hormone (testosterone) do tend to go bald quite early in life.

However, this is not an invariable rule, so I cannot guarantee that you have a high testosterone level.

Q I am two months pregnant, so my husband and I are looking forward to our first child, early in 2011.

I can't believe I did this, but last week I had a drink with an old flame, and ended up having sex with him.

I have heard that this kind of thing can lead to a woman conceiving a second pregnancy. Is that true?

A That is called superfoetation. It can occur, but it's incredibly rare.

But I think you should have a medical check-up, just in case your old flame has given you any infection.

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