How do I forgive others?– Part 2

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” - Matthew 6:14-15

 

Verses like this leave no room for doubt and ambiguity where forgiveness is concerned. The Word of God is clear that we should forgive; and yet, it is still a battle for many of us to let go of every fleshly desire to take revenge, hold on to a grudge or live in guilt. This is why we must remember that forgiveness is not an emotion. We don’t need to wait until we feel forgiving; instead, we must step out in faith and obedience and choose to forgive. It is only when we live a life of forgiveness that we experience tremendous freedom offered to us.

Last week, we covered two major steps we have to make in order to forgive. The first is understanding what forgiveness really means. To forgive is not to pretend that you weren’t hurt or to downplay the pain you experienced. Neither is it a waiting game until the pain goes away and we’re ready to forgive. Forgiveness is trusting God’s Word and His promises to work all things out for our good.

The second is releasing the person. When we release, we give up our right to be repaid or exact revenge. We live in humility, knowing that God alone has the right to revenge and He will work on our behalf. The next steps are just as important to live a victorious Christian life.

1. Recognise

After forgiveness, we are now ready to recognise God’s purpose in the process. Romans 8:28 says “God works all things together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.”

”God always uses our experiences – both good and bad – on purpose and for purpose. However, you can’t recognise God’s purpose until you first release the persons to whom you are harbouring unforgiveness. God understands that we live in a broken, sinful world; but He miraculously brings good even out of the bad situations in our lives.

 

 

 

2. Re-establish

One important thing to understand is that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. There are times when you should not re-establish the relationship.

For example, don’t re-establish the relationship if it is going to lead to additional personal harm, when the other party is not at the place to receive the attempt, or if you have an expectation of being appeased during the interaction.

However, if reconciliation is best, then Scripture gives us the process.

a) Meet face-to-face with the person

b) Point out the wrong

c) Release him or her.

Matthew 18:15 NIV encourages us, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

 

As we practise forgiveness, we give up demands for perfect behaviour, perfect justice, and perfect retribution and we begin to experience the truth that all of us are fallible humans in need of being forgiven ­ and in desperate need of grace.

Colossians 3:13 says: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Where are you today? Do you need to give someone the gift of forgiveness? Are you tired of living with the venom of an unforgiving spirit? My challenge to you today is to choose freedom. Choose to forgive.