What are you thankful for this season?

NEW YORK (AP):

We often focus our gratitude outward: the company of loved ones, the nourishment of a shared meal, the homes in which we gather. But how often do we turn that lens inward? It’s uncommon, as people are generally more comfortable expressing thanks to others. Yet psychologists say taking the time to acknowledge our own qualities—the strengths that carry us through life —can be both healthy and important, even if it feels awkward or sparks fears of appearing egotistical.

One reason self-gratitude doesn’t come naturally is that the human brain evolved to focus on problems and dwell on the negative, especially when survival depended on being alert to immediate dangers, said Kristin Neff, associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas, Austin.

“It’s not that it’s hard to do, but we have to overcome the natural tendency of the brain to always be looking for problems as a way of staying safe,” she said.

If people spent five minutes a day looking at themselves with compassion, their days would be different, said Maryanna Klatt, director of the Center for Integrative Health at Ohio State University. She recommended acknowledging our strengths, but also our challenges, which we can view as opportunities that may lead us to a place we never would have discovered.

In this story, several people approached in parks share what they appreciate about themselves.

SEEING THE POSITIVE

Lorenzo Cruz grew up in the Dominican Republic, where he recently earned a bachelor’s degree in business before moving to Boston. As a child, he experienced not having basic necessities, but as a teenager he moved and had a more comfortable life which enabled him to travel, receive an education and expand his perspective, he said.

“I’m grateful for the rough childhood I had because that made me appreciate so many different things that I’ve noticed people don’t look at or don’t appreciate enough,” Cruz said. “The way I see life, I’m grateful for that.”

To express thanks to himself, Cruz gives himself permission “to go for that trip, to binge watch that show, to go have fun at the bar, to eat that pizza at 12 a.m. I think we all tend to judge and put too much pressure on ourselves. Sometimes I just have to give myself a break and thank me for everything.”

As a single mother in her 40s, Ana Anitoaie appreciates the way she manages her family life and gives back to her community through teaching.

“I’m an immigrant. I came to the United States in 1995, and I’m really grateful for being on-task and following my education, and I have achieved so much by myself. I help my family back in Europe,” said Anitoaie, a secondary school math teacher.

“Today’s society is not really looking for what we’re grateful for,” Anitoaie said. “I think we should practice that more and we’ll be living in a happier Earth.”

TAKING CHANCES

Lara Furac, a primary school teacher who lives in Switzerland, is thankful for her courage and caring for others. She was in New York attending a bartending class with the goal of switching careers.

“I’m very grateful that I’m someone who gives everyone a fair chance, and I’m not scared to open up to people and meet new people,” said Furac. “I always said I’m not scared to make steps in life that are uncomfortable to some, but for me, the most important thing in life is that I can look back one day and be like, yes, I really lived, and I’m grateful that I really tried to do that, even if it’s scary sometimes and if it means something new, but also saying goodbye to something you know. I’m grateful that I’m brave enough to do that.”

SELF-CARE

Jose Santiago, a student at Mercy University in New York, recognises his optimism as an asset. “You know, I don’t see the negative or anything,” the 18 year old said. “I always see the situation as a way to get better. I always see each day as a blessing because someone didn’t get to wake up today.”

“I express gratitude to myself in sometimes just the way I get ready for the day and the way I approach it,” he said. If he’s in a bad mood, he starts his day “with a nice shower, go through a skin care routine, hair care routine, maybe play a certain song that makes me think of a good memory in my life, back to when I was a child.”

So, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: what are you thankful for?