Tony Deyal | Kaiso month, days and jokes like Bush

“I am going to bite dem young ladies pardner/ Like a hotdog or ah hamburger/ And if yuh know yuh thin doh be in a fright/ Is only big fat women ah going to bite. “

When I was three years old, I loved calypso so much that I listened on the radio to a national competition. My favourite, Theophilus ‘Spoiler’ Philip, one of the great humorists of our time and, for me, all time. While I did not bite any young lady then and now, I was the government’s television manager and spent a lot of time with the performers, politicians, and all the knowledgeable government folks.

The ones I loved and tried to get on our TV were the calypsonians. In those days most of them, like the Mighty Sparrow, Lord Kitchiner, Roaring Lion, Scrunter and Black Stalin, were famous for their clever lyrics, musical innovation, and satirical wit.

Then in 2002 the Trinbago Unified Calypsonians Organisation designated October, this month really, to celebrate and promote the rich cultural history of calypso music. While there are folks who will provide you with information about “Cultural preservation”, “Storytelling and history”, and lots of events, what you are getting from us are four of the best when it comes to humour.

First is “Allrounder” (Anthony Hendrickson). He began his calypso career in 1967, but his family were all involved, especially his brother Calypso Prince, his sister Calypso Princess, his two daughters and his wife, the “ghost” writer, especially in the early days.

But more than anything else is Allrounder himself. Here’s a piece from Garlic Sauce. It started with a lady who invited him for supper and the menu was burger. He sang, “I watch it (oii ya yoii)/ Ah hold it (aye yay ii)/ I squeeze it/ Ay say tonight I dressing she burger,/ Ah hold it (ay yay ii),/ I squeeze it,/ Ah say tonight I dressing she burger,/ Bring the Garlic sauce spread it on she burger,/ Put the Garlic sauce spread it on she burger,/ Where you want it, here? (uh uh) …” The response was “… right here/ Right here, /Put the garlic sauce spread it on she burger,..” More important for him was that she saw him as a “boss”, and a 73-year-old “Trini”.

As TV news presenter and journalist, Paolo Kernahan, said, “Gyallik sauce spreading in she burger … !” and added, “Even now, for some reason, these lyrics remain emblazoned on my mind. The first time hearing the catchy chorus I remember thinking to myself, ‘Man this is the nastiest thing I have ever heard.’

It is the sort of tune that has you chuckling quietly to yourself while waiting at a traffic light, and then only moments later cringing in horror at the overtly suggestive imagery.”

However, Mr. Kernahan saw it at a higher level, “Allrounder’s hit song (shockingly omitted from the Soca Monarch finals) in a way represents the power of renewal or reinvention”. Actually, Allrounder did a lot of those including “Body Wine”, “Innocent Jimmy” who “He never touch me kangkalang/ He only match meh kangkalang”, Talking (Miracle) Baby, and the Keep Fit Man. While he only made it five times in the calypso finals and did not win a crown, he did keep himself as a fit man, and the garlic sauce much have left him a lot of footprints including Female lifeguards.

Next is “AMUSER” (Carlton Thompson) who, even though he is 80 years old, is a comedian of class. In 1963 he came out with Nasty Rake In Town and Electric Wedger. Amuser performed at the Revue Tent 40 long and enjoyable years, but decided it was time for a change in 2006 and hopped on the Kaiso House bandwagon.

In 2007 he came up with Pamela and J’ouvert Morning. He also linked with Marvellous Marva for “Heavy Metal”. This is his way of doing the mix: “If ducking around well I have to be/ The most bad lucky man in town/ I tell myself ah fed up living bad with no life,/ So now I decide to take a wife,/ I wanted one from town, but me eh know that,/ Them tong girl because I come from South/ So I decided a tong man to check you out./ Not the Might Explainer put me on a scene/ And introduce me to a lovely gyal name Irene./ He say Amuser this is the one for you/ And you see this girl is loving and true,/ And if you married to her, your business will be fine, / This girl does have only one man at a time,/ But is Lord Kitchener make me understand/ The woman have ten children for twelve decent man.”

Next is Bill Trotman, (also known as Trinidad Bill) and before that he was “Lord Flying Fish”. He was a limbo dance, a painter, MC, comedian and calypsonian. For years as the master of ceremonies at Sparrow’s tent, he set the standard for that role.

He was also the leader in several skits at the tents in the 1960s. What makes him even more different is his ability to reach out and catch the crowd, even children. This is one that only he could do and did: “Mammy, Mammy, I want to go back to school/ Mammy, Mammy, staying home eh too cool/ I want you to understand/ I need an education/ I want to learn to beat pan/ To be a calypsonian/ But what I really, really, love the best/ I want to be in school in time for recess.” In fact, before we go through all his skills like, The Hungry Man From Claphan (1964) and Suckfinger Baby (1985), we better Run Joe (1966).

The last of the humourists is the Black Prince who is 77 years old and like the other three is ready to rumble whether it is Labour day, Independence, Politicians, or the Monarchy, it does not matter. He is the “Living Legend” and is there for that! In his case, and for his colleagues, we end with Calypso Horrors (1991): “Life as a calypsonian not easy/ Ah mean in the way you think it would be/ Better ah did stay bachelor and carefree/ Ah doh know who tell meh to get married/ From the day yuh boy went into married life/ One set ah pressure ah getting from meh wife/ She make meh to know, she doh like calypso/ An’ she eh see why it is I fighting it so.” And if it is fighting he wants, his lady made it clear, “…Telling me that is calypso but yuh lie/ Is dem woman and dem whey bunning yeh eye/ An’ outa’ the blue ah get the shock ah me life/ You go use the hole in yuh guitar when you want wife.”

Tony Deyal likes another one that Black Prince’s wife dropped on him, “They tell you that you should sing calypso/ Yuh fooling yuh self in case you eh know/ An’ outa the blues she tell meh this eh no sport/ Let calypso come an’ wash them dirty jockey shorts.” Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com