Kristen Gyles | Wartimes and the real us

Wartimes teach us where our priorities lie and help to reveal the truest versions of who we are and what we believe, besides the picture-perfect philosophies we try to project. The Russian invasion of Ukraine, as unfortunate as it is, has managed to highlight a clear dichotomy between how we really see each other through the lenses of both race and gender, as opposed to what we claim.

Imagine being on a plane when it is announced that the aircraft is having mechanical problems and everyone has to be evacuated immediately. Everyone gets frantic and, as per usual, the entire carriage becomes overwhelmed with noise. People hyperventilating, screaming, shoving, pushing, the whole nine yards. The emergency exits are flung open and you see where life jackets are being distributed. A clear system is in place. Seemingly kind and self-sacrificing airline crew are on standby to calm the distressed and assist them in getting off the plane to safety.

Except that, when you finally get near the front, you’re told you can’t get off just yet – you have to wait until all the ‘European’ passengers are out first. Workers don’t seem so kind now, do they?

RACISM IS ALIVE

Yet, this is what essentially happened to some Africans at the Ukraine-Poland borders recently. They were delayed an exit from the war-stricken Ukraine because they were not European enough. Racism is still alive and well, and we know that. Now, let’s go back to the plane story.

What if when you finally got to the front of the line (or crowd), you were told you can’t leave any at all because you’re an adult male, and adult males have to stay put inside the doomed aircraft to help lift heavy luggage out the plane in order to reduce the weight and decrease the chances of the airplane crash-landing. (I’m not an engineer or any of that stuff, so work with me here.)

Of course, there’s no use putting up resistance because no one has time to listen to your argument. Whining adult males are simply being called selfish, being pushed to the side, and being told to shut up. How does that feel?

I have always hated the concept of war, as I’m sure most of us do. I will never come to grips with the concept of some people being forced to fight wars in the name of protecting their country.

But look at how selective and unbalanced we are in the way we view gender equity within the context of war. A man is more suited to be hauled off into violence than a woman, when this 21st-century, office-working, car-driving man has never been violent, never been pre-disposed to being violent, and has no interest in becoming violent.

Men between the ages of 18 and 60 have been temporarily banned from leaving Ukraine – because they are men between the ages of 18 and 60. They are being forced to stay, in the event that they are required to ‘fight for their country’. No one should be forced to engage in war, and no one should be forced to sacrifice their life for the national interest. Those who so desire – men and women – should be afforded the ‘privilege’, sure.

Some sources say as much as 15 per cent of Ukrainian armed forces are women. It’s good that women can now make that choice for themselves. I absolutely believe women should have choices and should be able to self-actualise into whatever suits them, may it be positions of leadership or traditionally male-dominated fields.

MEN SHOULD HAVE CHOICES

Men should also have choices. They shouldn’t be forced to engage in war simply because they are men. Certainly not in today’s world. Boys and girls grow up under similar conditions nowadays, eating the same food, attending the same schools, playing the same video games, and ‘tracing’ each other over the same nonsense. Isn’t that how we wanted it? Fewer traditional expectations and cooler AC for everyone? Well, now we have it. Let’s not play the hypocrite by acting as though, suddenly, men are the brawny monuments of bravery we need to save the day – not when they are being raised as anything but.

Frankly, people who are afraid of war and don’t want to fight won’t make good fighters, anyway.

Some smart aleck will ask me if I’d rather everyone roll over and die, or come under siege, than send the men to fight. Yes, ‘Aleck’! Yes! First, if I need to sacrifice you in order to stay alive, I think I’d rather die. Further, if you think the concept of the ‘greater good’ makes it expedient that one man (or some men) ‘should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not,’ you, like the Pharisees, would have probably crucified Jesus – and in that case, you need Jesus and not my article.

Clearly, the world suffers from some serious cognitive dissonance issues. I am not a Ukrainian, and I don’t know what Ukrainian values are and how traditional the people are. But when I see news reports of teary-eyed refugee women speaking of their husbands and brothers who are back in Ukraine, gearing up to fight, I know something is gone haywire with the way, as a world community, we have everything to say on the matter of gender equality, until ‘desperate times call for desperate measures’ and the posturing stops.

The point is if your principles don’t stand up to the test in desperate times, maybe you only thought they were your principles, but they were really nothing more than a façade – a psychologically concocted façade to help you feel more like a progressive, ‘woke’-minded global citizen. (Or whatever.)

Kristen Gyles is a free-thinking public affairs opinionator. Email feedback to kristengyles@gmail.com.