Fri | Jul 3, 2020

7 types of kissers you may encounter

Published:Monday | May 20, 2019 | 12:12 AM

Kissing is usually a preview of what someone is going to be like in bed. For some, it is even more intimate than the act of sex itself. Like all arts, kissing is a highly personal expression of feeling, and its interpretation is subjective. Are you a good kisser? That depends on who you ask; truthfully, there are just as many ways to do it as there are people. Here are seven types of kissers you will encounter in your lifetime.

1. The Dog

This kisser is the one who thinks licking your face supplements for a kiss. There’s always a lot of slobber and excessive wetness, which makes you wonder if you are kissing a puppy or a man.

2. The Cannibal

If you’ve ever woken up to bruised or numb lips, you’ve experienced this kisser. Their objective is to chew off your lip, and they’ve almost succeeded. Who needs lipstick after encountering the cannibal? You will have puffy red lips for days.

3. The Vacuum Cleaner

A man who thinks kissing involves sucking your soul in addition to your entire lung capacity out of your mouth is not a keeper. You will feel their hand behind your head forcefully guiding your mouth to their lips as they ‘passionately’ remove all the oxygen from your body.

4. The Chatterbox

Talking while kissing is an impossible feat. They don’t realise when the right time to talk is, and this is the time for them to just shut up and kiss you. Patience is needed when dealing with this type of kisser.

5. The Pecker

Their mouth forms the shape of a small buttonhole and simply pokes your lips. The least invasive kiss of all but still the most uncomfortable. This is usually with someone who is very inexperienced and watches a lot of super corny romance movies.

6. The Moaner

Otherwise known as the audible kisser, this person makes PDA incredibly awkward. It’s best to stick to holding hands in public with this one.

7. The One

If you’ve seen movies like The Notebook or Titanic, then you will know exactly what ‘The One’ looks like. The perfect kisser differs for everyone, but you will definetly know when you are kissing the one. Keep trying until you find it.